The workbook starts with how coercive control shapes the way you read an apology or a calm week after a blowup, which explains why hope can start to feel like evidence.
It lays out six areas where real change has to show up: entitlement, control, accountability, repair, consistency, and your own freedom. The most useful question is usually which of the six haven't moved.
The tools include a 90-day tracking log and a minimum standards checklist. An optional self-assessment at the end shows where your answers cluster, and the final section helps you plan boundaries and documentation if the answer turns out to be no.
Who It's For
You might still be in the relationship, or you might be co-parenting in the middle of a custody case. The workbook opens with safety planning, including where to keep your answers so the other person can't find them. It also says plainly when you should set it aside and call a domestic violence advocate or an attorney. It uses they/them throughout, so it works no matter who you're evaluating.
Why This Workbook Exists
The question I hear most in coaching sessions, from people leaving a controlling relationship and people thinking about going back, is whether the other person has really changed. It's a hard question to answer from inside a relationship that has spent months or years shaping how you read the other person. When harm keeps getting followed by warmth, relief starts to register as proof, and a calm stretch after a blowup can feel like the change you've been waiting for. The workbook keeps you focused on specific behavior you can see and date. It asks, for example, whether therapy language is standing in for a plain admission of what they did, and whether they've given up what the harmful behavior used to get them. Whatever you decide, the goal is for it to rest on things you watched happen
Get The Workbook
You can work through the workbook slowly, and you don't need to reach a conclusion the day you download it. If you'd like help making sense of your answers, you can bring them to a coaching session at emotionalabusecoach.com
$27.00